The Challenge of Making a Decision

by Ryan Goodwin

Every day, we are blessed to hear stories from families all over West Michigan. Stories about the life of a loved one who is on their final journey; stories about a past which was full of life, love, and happiness; stories of plans for a future, enriched with faith, hope, and prosperity; and stories which may be over, or at the same time, stories which are just beginning.

Among these stories comes a time for many families to think about the necessities of planning, before it becomes a necessity of deciding.  A decision is defined by Webster’s dictionary as: ‘a determination arrived at after consideration’.  This implicit definition assumes everyone has that time to think about a decision, however, this is not always the case.  Amongst the plethora of great stories we hear, our ears do collide with inauspicious tales, usually stemming from a mindset of “that won’t happen to me” or “I have time to do that later”.

Making a decision is not always easy.  However, one of my favorite sayings is- if you plan for the worst, the best will always happen.  In order to plan for the best to happen and make sound decisions, I want to share with you four tricks I came across while reading an article the other day.  For the next big decision you need to make (let’s say choosing your Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare), use these tips to assist your plan:

1.) Limit the Amount of Information You Take In.  Every plan needs some fundamental research to make an educated decision, however, too much information can make you lose steam power on your ‘train to decision-town’.  While in college, one of my professors would tell us to KISS our project (Keep It Simple Student).  Consider KISSing the research for your next decision by focusing on what is important to YOU, not others the decision may not affect.
2.) Pretend Like You Are Advising a Friend.  Use this new knowledge you researched to now pretend you are going to host a presentation on <insert subject your deciding on here>.
3.) Challenge yourself, for the sake of argument, while weighing out the benefits vs. burdens.  You are now going to write down the good, bad, and the ugly of your decision.
4.) Write down your benefit vs. burden in a spreadsheet.  Spending time in this area as opposed to getting lost on the internet researching for weeks on end will truly help you focus on what is important to you.

With the above to consider, give these four tips a shot when facing that next decision.  Above all, set a date to plan for the decision and begin without delay.  Getting your planning and decisions on paper can help you tremendously and do not ‘plan to fail, by failing to plan’.

Be Blessed, and may God walk you through the entire process.
-Ryan

Grieving the Death of a Spouse

After a spouse passes-on, the world can never be the same. One enters a state of grief, moving from feelings of shock, fear, and numbness, possibly into a state of guilt for being the one to survive. It’s not uncommon to feel anger towards your partner for abandoning you. There is no clear roadmap for grief, and emotions that arise can be startling and confusing. All of this is normal.

Symptoms of both emotional and physical pain come uncontrollably in waves, fits of crying, or disorientation. Many experience difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, inability to concentrate and make decisions.

For some people it doesn’t take long for these reactions to subside, for others it can take a very long time. But for all people in grief, the gripping pain eventually loosens. Some days seem to be easy and others very hard, but at some point the easy days begin to outnumber the hard days.

Sometimes mourning goes on too long, and can lead to depression and anxiety. If you feel your grief has not subsided for a very long time and you cannot perform your everyday tasks, talk to your doctor immediately.

Simple things you can do
In the beginning, you might find it best to keep focused on things you need to do to keep yourself busy. Friends and family members are around a lot during this time, but eventually you’ll need the courage to face the more solitary time. Taking care of yourself is your top priority. Do your best to exercise, eat right, and get plenty of sleep. Avoid too much alcohol or tobacco which puts your well-being at risk. Visit your doctor at the usual times, and take all necessary medications.

Be open with the friends that you trust. Sharing the truth of your feelings will help you to heal. You might also consider joining a grief support group. Talking to people in a similar situation, such as groups in hospitals and religious establishments can help you feel like you’re not alone. Individual therapy is also an option. Keep in mind that mourning takes its own time and runs its own course. For a while you might feel tossed-about by your feelings, but this too shall pass.

How to help a family member
If your parent or loved one loses a spouse, be sensitive to the fluctuation of their emotions. Allow them to experience their grief in whatever way it happens for them and be responsive to their needs. Gentleness, an open ear, and an open heart are some of the best gifts to offer.

CHAP Accredited; We are Ready to Serve!

Emmanuel Hospice recently received CHAP accreditation recognizing us as an industry leader in quality, performance, and excellence.

CHAP (Community Health Accreditation Program) provides a non-biased third-party review to ensure a provider is not only compliant with current state and federal regulations and industry standards of practice, but demonstrates higher levels of performance, positioning it for growth and long term viability.

“The goal of Emmanuel Hospice is to treat the person instead of the disease, and focus on the family and caregivers, not just the individual.” said Sara Lowe, Executive Director of Emmanuel Hospice, “Our privilege is to support the goals of those we serve during what can be a very difficult time.”

Emmanuel Hospice care involves a team-oriented approach that includes expert medical care, pain-and-symptom management, and emotional and spiritual support. All care is expressly tailored to the patient’s needs and wishes.

“Emmanuel Hospice isn’t a place. We customize our care to best meet your needs by bringing our services to the place you consider home, wherever that may be,” Said Lowe.  “It’s a philosophy of care that focuses on living…living as fully as possible, up until the end of life.”

Emmanuel Hospice is an interfaith collaboration of four local, nonprofit organizations with over 200 years of combined experience providing quality health care services in West Michigan.  St. Ann’s, Clark, Porter Hills, and Sunset Retirement have joined together to deliver the highest level of holistic care to those who have reached end of life.